City Cat
by Kal Kally
Summary: Hisoka had always considered Illumi Zaoldyeck as just an acquaintance, useful but worthless, the strong that he didn't even want to combat with. However, an accident turned him into a cat, and to his horror, things started to change. Hisoka x Illumi


**City Cat**

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_Disclaimer:_ No, of course. HxH and its characters do not belong to me.

_Pairing:_ Hisoka/Illumi

_Genre:_ Romance/Humor

_Warning:_ Rating T because of some language or images.

_Summary:_ Hisoka had always considered Illumi Zaoldyeck as just an acquaintance, useful but worthless, the strong that he didn't even want to combat with. However, an accident turned him into a cat, and to his horror, things started to change.

_This is the first story in the three-part series: Feline World_

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**Chapter 1: City cat overcomes the great three obstacles**

The dark alley between the two high hotels didn't carry the same splendor as their magnificent lobbies. Many trash bins piled up at one end in the dim light from the street. If one got pass them to walk further, he would only encounter a smelly darkness.

At the end of the alley, a man backed against the wall in a fighting stance. Blood oozed out from long, deep cuts under torn linen clothes. He wiped his hand over his face, cleaning away the blood falling over his eyes. The other hand tightened over a metal fan as he stared tensely at the relaxed shadow before him.

No fighting stance. No killing aura. Only a pair of white sharp eyes. And in the thick darkness, the man could see vaguely the outline of a feral smile, a smile that flaunted openly the cruel elation of a predator stalking his prey.

"If you kill me, you'll pay!" He growled.

"Oh, that would be very interesting. I'm waiting for it." His attacker only sneered as if he had just heard the most hilarious joke.

The man gritted his teeth and snaked his hand into the pocket on the inner side of his clothes. He took out a small powder pouch, the lucky card that he had intended to save for the last battle against his arch enemy. He had spent twenty years roaming all over the world just to find enough ingredients for this tiny amount of powder, so using it now was not much different from tearing his inner organs out. But as the shadow got closer, the man abandoned that thought.

He hastily spread the powder over his fan. The savage eyes watching him only flashed joy and excitement. _Stupid,_ the man thought, _the bastard doesn't even try to stop me. He must be thinking this is only a cheap poison. What a pitiful idiot. _

Time slowed. The man flung himself towards his assailant, but then stopped abruptly halfway and unfolded his fan to blow into the air a brown compound. When the fan stopped, the shadow before his eyes disappeared, leaving only the bright yellow light at the beginning of the alley.

The man laughed, enjoying his victory. The laughter resounded for a second then ended with a scream as deck cards cut into his skin. The strong force behind the cards dragged him backward the entire length of an arm before nailing him into the wall. Trembling hand rose to the card buried into his chest at the place of the heart, trying to pull it out in vain. The world blurred before his eyes. The last image he had was a tiny shadow on the concrete ground.

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A strong opponent was the most delicious dinner one could have for weekends; Hisoka stared at the corpse on the wall in delighted. His cards did wonders tonight, somehow pulling the corpse in all directions, making it look huge like a giant.

His laughter was full of malice.

"Meow."

He stopped and frowned, cursing some bloody stray cats for interrupting his overflowing inspiration. Hisoka looked around but didn't detect any movement. Not even the sound of a feline step on the wall.

_Well, it doesn't matter._ He wanted to say.

"Meow."

That god dammed cat again!

His mood was totally spoiled now. Hisoka turned away from the corpse to leave the alley. Then he froze and stared at the huge trash bins before his eyes, each as tall as a building.

What the hell? He exclaimed.

"Meow."

Now Hisoka was furious. He definitely had to banish that damned cat to hell!

He raised his hand up and placed it on one bin, intended to push it away. Huge trash bin or not, it was none of his business.

But the trash bin didn't move. It just stood there glaring back at him like a huge metal wall. Pet paws were just too weak.

What?

Dammit. He cursed.

"Meow. Meow."

_Oh, serious huh_? He thought and looked at his hands, then raised them higher, then higher, then higher until it nearly pressed at his eyes.

Hisoka stared a good long minute at the two cat paws, tiny and pink.

What the hell?!?

"Meow."

He looked up at the trash bin. Then he turned his head back at the corpse at least twenty times larger than him. Then he looked down at the dirty white fur on his body.

What?

It turned out that he did know what happened. But just to be sure, Hisoka shook his hip. Just as he predicted, a furry cat tail lashed out and whisked the air.

The bastard. Giving Hisoka such a good, thorough slap event after he had been killed.

On one hand, Hisoka was elated, having been beaten for the first time in a while. On the other hand, he felt a little worried. The cat paws curled and uncurled, tossing around the deck cards, unable to lift them up. From now on how the hell should he do to make these cards bury into bodies like the corpse on the wall?

Forget it. He leaned his head a little and waved his new cat ears just to see how they worked. Now it was not the time to crack his head over trifle matters. He had followed the dead man for days, and now his empty stomach revolted.

First obstacle: Trash bin.

_What do those furry things do in this situation?_ Hisoka tried to recall the stray cats he had seen before. He licked his lips, lowered his fore legs and jumped, then hit his head at the rusted metal surface and came crashing down.

"Meow!!!"

Oww. Hisoka rubbed his whiskers and shook his head to stop the firework before his eyes, ears slightly backward. Oh well, let's do it again. Hisoka thought.

"Meow!!!"

Oww. Again. He wanted to rub the swelling on his head, but cats' legs were way too short, he couldn't reach it. Hisoka gave up trying after a while and eagerly lowered himself before the trash bin again.

Alright! This time he succeeded. Finally he sat enthroned on the top of the trash bin.

"Meow Meow!!!" His scream? Of course not. Hisoka the magician would never startle because of those damned cars and trunks roaring on the street. Then what had just screamed? Hisoka decided he had no time to worry about those nonsense questions.

Hisoka left the alley and went to the nearby hotel. He waited for a guest to open the door and swaggered into the hotel's luxurious restaurant.

"Dirty cat! Chase it out!" He heard the manager snapped at a waiter.

How dare him! Hisoka growled and jumped at the foolish manager, fully intended to kill him off.

POP! The cat flied towards the door, crashed into the glass and flopped down.

Second obstacle: Restaurant manager.

He didn't care that the ladies in the restaurant all caused an uproar, accusing the manager's gross action against a poor, defenseless creature. With his tail between his legs, Hisoka escaped. He wasn't afraid of death, but dying because of food would be the most stupid thing he could think of, at least for a while.

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Hisoka walked gloomily on the wall of a house in the slums. Tail dangled between two legs. Dropping ears didn't bother to stir. The night sang a sorrowful, unwelcoming and humid song around him, celebrating his failure to find food. Hisoka had lowered his restaurant standard from luxurious to normal, then finally to cheap-looking ones, but still his stomach was empty.

He spotted a water puddle on the pavement and remembered the earlier rain. Harsh and freezing, it forced him to hide under the roof of some unfamiliar house. Hisoka the magician had never felt cold but the tiny cat couldn't stop trembling because of the icy raindrops.

Hisoka jumped down the wall and ran to the puddle, eagerly to see his new self. A day had passed with the unending effort to calm the hungry stomach so Hisoka still didn't know what he looked like

"Meow!"

Cat head leaned to one side as he stared at his reflection. Then one paw smashed on the water, destroying the image. Oh dear. What a shame. His tail tapped up and down in annoyance. Hisoka had always thought he would be a sharp-clawed wildcat with a strong body and powerful legs.

But staring up at him from the puddle was only a tiny white kitten, so thin that one could see its bones underneath …. Fur so dirty that one would think it had just rolled in mud.

He was really beaten this time.

"GOOF GOOF GOOF" A series of goof made Hisoka startled. He turned back and froze, staring at a stray dog pack.

Third obstacle: Dogs.

He wasn't afraid. Of course. But the cat was trembling. Those furry things, why were they so timid?

A dog ran towards him. Like someone had just blown a whistle, the whole pack followed.

"MEOW!!!" The kitten panicked and fled.

_Well, cats are not only weak, cowardice, but also stupid._ Hisoka thought as he backed away until he met the wall. Fleeing into a blind alley was the most foolish thing he had ever done.

The dogs growled and moved forward.

_For a cat, dogs are surely strong opponents._ Hisoka thought, suddenly feeling fear change into excitement, just for no reason. It was kind of interesting in a strange way. The fore legs pressed against the ground as he hissed and moved into a fighting position with arched back and flattened ears.

The dogs kept getting closer.

Suddenly a killing aura erupted. Its intensity silenced the stray dogs and turned them into shaking puppies.

Standing there was a human. He raised his aura a little and the dogs fled.

"Well, what do we have here?" The familiar monotonous voice turned louder as the human stepped fully into the alley.

Hisoka looked up and his fluffy tail fell back to flat as he recognized an acquaintance.

Illumi Zaoldyeck.

"Oh. So you don't fear me." The assassin lifted Hisoka up by grabbing the cat by the neck.

Nonsense. Why must I fear you? He wanted to make the assassin taste his claw, but unfortunately, he was somehow immobile under Illumi's grip.

"Meow!" Finally he could blurt out as Illumi let him down on his arm.

"Alright. I'll bring you along."

The assassin held him to his chest and left the alley.

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End file.
